Ascension – Lion Hearts VIII

Rob Nanninga’s last address in The Netherlands: Westerkade 20. Constantia Oomen’s last address in The Netherlands: Weststraat 20. 20+20 2020 Publication date 5-20-2020, in the Netherlands + 9h: 5-21-2020 (Ascension Day 2020)


Gym blues
Plans for the Netherlands
Magical Realism continues
Robbert and Stan
Stan and Alan
The Brakes
Rob Nanninga quotes
Gallery 2020


A year that leaves no stone unturned! To change our life. This planet’s life? To change my life? Nature-endorsed! Or so it seems. The odds are turning in a dramatic way. A pandemic. And no clairvoyant (if they exist) predicted that. This is Lion Hearts VIII with mostly a daily-life update, so not so much about dreams and out-of-body experiences.

I am not in contact with my ex at the moment. I did jump out of an airplane with him on June 13, 20191

My unemployment status is unchanged. The impact of the pandemic was pointedly illustrated by the fact that my neighbors-for-years on one side, including their dog and cat, moved away from one day to the next. The house has been empty since. I haven’t asked them, but I am pretty sure they got affected by the pandemic. My living situation has also come under pressure because of the pandemic, because both roommates leave early and I have to look for new roommates. The rents are sky high here and if I fail to find roommates in time, I will not be able to continue living in this house.

My fingertip skin-cracks problems haven’t been resolved yet, and the ripples in my nails are still playing a an ebb and flow tide game.

I still cycle a lot, and I still miss the physical Rob every day. But he is there, he speaks the language of love through the sweetest and most handsome lions. Strange as it may sound, through these lions, I am even able to feel the warmth of his physical body. Every day, I make sure the lions stay in perfect shape. Despite the enormous “distance”, we still live together and I see him especially while cycling: how he stands in * our * kitchen, with his homely apron tied. Cooking for us. At night through the lions I feel his enormous warmth, support, love and eroticism. The extreme number of orgasmic eruptions is comparable to last year. This is paramount beyond words, More-Than-Heaven descended to me on Earth!

On October 26, 2019, I met Dutch Melanie who’s working  for the vegan cheesery and buttery Miyoko’s at the Kombucha tap of the Davis Food Co-Op. After one random greeting at the Kombucha tap, Melanie immediately noticed that I was Dutch, and said she was too. She lives in Petaluma. Twice I drove up to Rohnert Park, which is nearby Petaluma, and on one occasion met up with a group of Dutch people who meet once a month, at the invitation of Melanie’s.

It had been a long time since I drove further away by car since the divorce. Unfortunately, I have become less mobile in terms of driving longer distances. I just miss Rob as a partner and don’t see the fun of traveling on my own, with nobody to share the travel excitement with.

Gym blues

Due to some human complication at GetFit, Davis, I canceled my subscription. I scratched the surface of this earlier-on.2 My Get-Fit Davis membership was ending in January 2020, but I already stopped going in December 2019. I signed a monthly contract with In-Shape, Woodland in December 2019. Although they do have a great modern gym and a lovely massage chair, something happened there that made me realize that this was not a second home to me, like GetFit Davis was. Apparently the chickens had not come home to roost yet. So I canceled my subscription again. Then I decided the UC Davis, ARC gym might be my best shot, but by then, the pandemic had already started, and I realized this was a good chance to unwind myself and just give it some time. Not so much later, all gyms in California were mandatory closed. Again, I had walked faster than time, a phenomenon not new to me, so by then there wasn’t even a choice anymore. I’ve been thinking about returning to GetFit, Davis in the future, but considering this human complication, it’s very fraught. I am not sure K will be ecstatic to see me again. To be real, I have no clue what K is or is not thinking about me, but there was something big going on, of that much I am sure. Maybe go to the “Noah”‘s ARC in due time?

Plans for the Netherlands

This year I had made more concrete plans to visit the Netherlands, my family and my father, and meet with some virtual friends for the first time: Sjaan and a (virtual also) friend in Amsterdam, too, she invited me to stay over at her house.

Sjaan is someone I got to know through the Robbert van den Broeke and Stan affair. This Robbert van den Broeke-Genverbrander story has always been a lateral but important thread in the Lion Hearts blogs. I have known her for almost five years now. She sent me an email to offer some moral backup in this Van den Broeke case, and that’s how we started our shared path. Sjaan is a sweetheart, always thinking about other people first. She lovingly cared for her partner when he fell ill until the very end. But she’s not only sweet and fuzzy, she has a razor-sharp, alert mind and, like me, can’t stand hypocrisy and deception. Countless times she technically assisted me in researching the photos and videos of Robbert van den Broeke, which she runs through metadata programs with stunning results, because they always show he’s (still) faking it. Without any exaggeration, she is as good as a professional detective and would, in my opinion, do an excellent job as a police detective. For the past five years she has continuously supported me, both professionally and personally. What I find most exceptional about her is her incredibly flexible mind, she is able to adapt like a chameleon, with a thousand and one beautiful and pure colors, forever young!

Also very important part of the trip would be to visit Rob’s former house on the Westerkade 20 in Groningen, which I have never seen in real life. I am sure, if it comes to this, something very special will happen. 🌟 And then another goal in Groningen: the Mercuriusstraat 1 in Paddenpoel, where I lived for five years in my youth. And I always long back for the Dutch Fairytale Theme Park the Efteling. This visit would be the very first since my emigration in 2011! I already bought an expensive travel bag that would pass the hand luggage system for the purpose of bringing one of Rob multiple lions with me. I don’t want to lose sight of the lion nor do I want to create the chance that the airline will lose my luggage.

However, the pandemic intervened. The question now is: when and if I will ever return to the Netherlands? Sometimes it seems to me like I have already died like Rob, in this emigration situation in paradise California, where you can check out, but never leave?. Perhaps I am not supposed to return?

Magical Realism continues

Thanks to a heads-up from the Dutch Beeld en Geluid Media Archive on August 30, 2019, I was able to get hold of one more video with Rob Nanninga in it on September 5, 2019. Kudos again to this amazing Institute! Though the footage didn’t bring a real new Rob image, it did bring footage of his study that has become very dear to me, because it reveals so much about Rob Nanninga’s student-like lifestyle, which is so very similar to mine. The more I extract from the wheels of time, the more it is confirmed that I am right about Rob and me and the thousand and one things that forge us together.

On Tuesday March 10, 2020 I was cycling again and I passed through Winters. And on Tuesdays there always is, come rain or shine, or even wildfires,3, imperturbable, not changed by any ripple of the world’s events, the Oldie Cars Show. I fancied two oldies in Rob’s colors, see the photos in the gallery below. Rob always had a preference for the color turquoise or blue (but more turquoise-ish), just think of the old Skepsis website, designed by Rob. And don’t forget his blue jackets and shirts! I thought to myself: Yes, these are really Rob Nanninga’s cars! Later on, well on my way back on the Winters Road, I was cycling, lost in thought, when, of all the oldies in all the towns in all the world, only(you have to take my word for it) these two turquoise oldies passed me by, one after the other. I took it as a magic wave from Rob, and in my mind I saw us riding in them, our hair in the wind through the open windows, under a very happy sun. This is just one example of the happy, worlds-coming-together events I experience with Rob.

It was only in December 2019, after having lived on this address for already over eight years, I realized I am even living under the roof of Rob’s colors. Admitted, it’s  a common combination color in Davis and surrounding areas, but it certainly isn’t the only one, and still, I ended up here, right?, where these colors prevail.

Robbert, Stan and Alan

This part is published separately too on my Parameter WordPress. If you wonder why this extensive piece also appears here: this is an important part of my life and it really has an impact. Moreover, it has a very direct overlap with Rob Nanninga since he was and is also working on this, if it is true that there is afterlife. Also, I get the impression that Rob is helping me in the "background", that he is forcing the gentlemen to show their cards.

As I already mentioned earlier on in this blog, it’s never that far to Robbert and Stan, and his husband, Alan, as they are intertwined in this story.4 I have been involved in this case for fifteen years now, an incredibly long time. There are a few notable developments.


The first one is that I finally have blocked Robbert van den Broeke from sending emails to me. His official acquittal in the threat case for which he was arrested, allegedly for lack of evidence, in October 20185 was no reason for Van den Broeke to choose a scold and threat-free path, and he just continued with his hate emails.

I know that Rob Nanninga had already given up on the “Genverbrander” case by 2012, now that Robbert had been definitively exposed as a con artist and it had also been demonstrated that Van den Broeke conducted online diatribes for which even the dogs would turn up their nose, but I kept it up much longer. For many years I remained curious about what Mr. Van den Broeke had to say to me and allowed his emails, admittedly only through a filter directly in a separate folder. But for some time already, it has been perfectly clear to almost everyone, except to his most loyal fans, that Robbert is a lost cause and that there’s not much honor left in investing energy in researching his actions. He got stuck and all he has been doing for a long time is endlessly repeating everything he once said and did, including his fraud tricks with fake spirit and “alien” photos, all his “loving” messages to his fans and all his hatred towards me and the skeptics in general.

Nowadays, he’s even going with mainstream conspiracy quacks, for example, about the link between 5G and Corona Virus. He did remove one crucial conspiracy clip about this later-on.6 These conspiracy theories are by no means innocent, as believers broker them in everyday life and, for instance, are no longer willing to get vaccinations because they think the government secretly implants chips or they are deliberately poisoned with mercury. Some people even torch 5G masts. Van den Broeke has been publishing many YouTube clips the last year, addressing all kinds of “spiritual” subjects, even addressing me a couple of times.7 It does seem quite innocuous, this new trend of endless preaching videos. I would prefer them any time over his ghost / alien photos and videos deception. Unfortunately, he still does those too, including auto-mutilations on his forehead that he claims are alien and christ signs. I must say he has built up a quite large motley collection of “spiritual” subjects and hence his interest in all these topics seems genuine. Still, in my opinion, there is not much reason left to invest a lot of time and energy in him.

Robbert sent me a whole bunch of hate clips and emails again, a part is in the Google Drive. There’s one Van den Broeke activity I do want to mention. Still working with Johny Webb, yes, the man from the octopus, Van den Broeke published a “channeling” with Adolf Hitler. However, the accompanying text about it and the clip were posted on Webb’s Facebook and YouTube channel. I tweeted about it and then someone reported Webb to Facebook (it wasn’t me). Shortly after, Webb’s facebook went completely black. The clip is still there, but I uploaded a copy in Google Drive just in case:

Fall 2019, I expressed the idea on Twitter to turn the Robbert van den Broeke blogs into a book and I had indeed already worked on it several times (that has come to a standstill). Obviously, this idea was immediately picked up by Van den Broeke and I got his hate emails about that too. Also Stan emailed about it a few times.

I suddenly couldn’t digest Van den Broeke’s emails anymore. After another hateful email from Robbert on December 14, 2019 I decided to block him completely. Every time Robbert e-mails me now, his email is instantly deleted and Gmail sends an automated message that he has been blocked and why. Since then, not one single email from him has popped up ever again and I have no idea if he sent them. I am very happy with this decision!

Stan and Alan

Stan Pluijmen is another matter. Stan never seemed hateful in the emails he signed with his own name. It’s a long story, and I don’t feel like repeating everything here. In short, I did not block Stan. I always hoped he would come around, detach himself from Robbert and would no longer participate in their shared lying and cheating games. But Stan has been bouncing like a yo-yo. Stan increasingly emailed me messages that he had changed and in which he admitted to (some) deception by and with Robbert van den Broeke. According to Stan, there is this part to Robbert that’s really “psychic” though. Anyway, Stan and Robbert are no longer a cheating duo together. At least, I see no signs that they still are. Stan even seemed burdened about the past, because he knows better than anyone how much hatred I received through Robbert and through his own, questionable to say the least, network. He even started offering me financial “compensation” in BTC, but I only wanted official compensation, through a notary. For literally years he kept on pushing me to take his money, through email, this started with him offering me money if I deleted the blogs on Parameter, see previous blogs on my Parameter WordPress.8

Stan seemed quite desperate about the existence of my Parameter blogs, he approached it differently too and tried to lure me into a “deal” that if he/they were able to “channel” the code word I would think up for myself and make that official by entrusting somebody with it, I would remove all my blogs. But I didn’t take the bite.

In 2020, for a reason I don’t know, he upped his BTC effort considerably, he said/says it was/is because he likes and loves me, and wants to help me. I did kind of become curious (again) if he was just saying things (again), and posted my BTC wallet address publicly on my Genverbrander10 Twitter account.

That wasn’t the first time I did that though, I did that in 2018 too. I discovered bitcoin in 2017 when I was trying to order my allergy medicine Ebas from a foreign country, because it’s not available in the United States and they asked for bitcoin or wire payment. Wire payments are expensive here, so I thought to give bitcoin a shot, and with BTC payment, they offered a standard 10% discount. It was all very new to me, and on one day I even posted my bitcoin wallet address on my Twitter account ConstantiaUSA. I tried to find the specific tweet, but I guess I deleted it. I only recently (April 2020) learned that you can indeed publish your BTC wallet address safely after you properly secure your BTC wallet. Though I did that in reverse order, nothing happened. I guess I hoped some magic pigeon would deposit BTC in my wallet. This all must have been mid 2018.

In my Parameter blog I already mentioned the fact that I on impulse and more or less jokingly asked Stan for 1.5 million in 2018, because only then would I feel compensated for all their nuisance and remove my blogs. The underlying idea was that with such a fortune that I could start living very differently, and that I could actually see this as a serious enough compensation and move on.

I didn’t email Stan about it, in fact, I didn’t email him at all, everything went through Twitter.

But in 2020, things were different. I suddenly received a bitcoin amount deposited on April 8, 2020. Stan had made a deposit! And the next day, after some tweets from me that I was willing to receive Stan’s compensation as an official gift, two more “donations” came, bigger ones, not a fortune, but significant. Well, in total it was about half a bitcoin. It was worth about euro 3200 at the time Stan deposited it. For connoisseurs: of cryptocurrency, this could be literally nothing or it could be quite something, in the future.

I see it as Stan’s free-will compensation that still is on the symbolic side. His compensation doesn’t come close to the real disturbance I had. My critical attention to this case – I literally spent thousands of hours – was indeed my own free choice and everything I did was public. In my opinion, I always stuck to the facts and kept my criticism fair and decent. But it was no choice of mine to be stalked for so many years: 2012-2019. I received hundreds of hate and death threats from a whole bunch of different mailboxes and names, both known and unknown to me, with photos of beheaded, run over and battered (dead) bodies, scolding videos, I was hacked and even threatened with hitmen.9

I can’t be sure where Stan got his money, in emails he says he got it from tricking online casinos. Stan Pluijmen claims he’s a modern Robin Hood, stealing from the rich and giving it to the poor.

On April 25, 2020, I decided to listen to exactly two years of unopened audios of Stan, a rollercoaster of several hours in the afternoon and evening. Since April 2018, I wasn’t listening anymore, because I got angry with Stan, again, since through yet another unsolicited email, he “offered” to ask “medium” Robbert van den Broeke for my Google drive password. As you can understand, I don’t believe in Van den Broeke’s “medium” password reading skills, I do kind of believe in Stan’s or .?.’s hacking skills, so that pissed me off. I really hadn’t been listening secretly, as Stan suggested in many of these audios, he even stated in his audios he was willing to bet a lot of money (did you say one million, Stan?:)

on the (not existing) “fact” I was still listening, So, now Stan is owing me even more. 😉
Not listening for two years and then all of two years at once, in one day, really turned out to be a golden shot. So instead of getting everything in pieces, I now got everything at once, which gave me a much better overview and the distance created in the time dimension was also very good for me to be able to view everything much more at a distance. The audios were insightful, I listened to about hundred audios and their line was consistent: first I heard one year of the old fashioned Stan woo-woo, but since April 2019, Stan started singing to a different tune. This was ushered in by a series of very curious emails in which Stan seemed to have stepped outside of himself and somewhere in the deep universe, as a miracle of mega interpretation of the secrets of the cosmos, spoke about synchronicity, mythical symbols, God, Satan, extraterrestrials and our shared destiny.

Because I was receiving hatemails of Robbert van den Broeke about Stan and Alan simultaneously in which Robbert was kicking furiously at Stan and Alan, even sending me an audio from Stan in which Stan could be heard crying and completely beside himself, I could tell something was going on. In his audios, Stan’s tune changed and; in the most favorable way interpreted for Stan, you can say that he indeed seemed awakened from a bad dream or spell, he used phrases like: “I embarrassed myself, I let go of Robbert, what have I done? Robbert brought me to things, I am no longer under Robbert’s trance, your blogs may stay online because they are correct, the curse of Robbert…, there is no hacker, I’m sorry, I admit to my mistakes … “. Of course in this case, it’s hard to tell truth from lie, but Stan’s Spring 2019 and beyond audios were indicators that the firm trinity Robbert-Stan-Alan (Stan’s husband) had dissolved. Both Van den Broeke and Stan Pluijmen were suddenly emailing me the(ir) “whole truth”: (click on gallery images, this is how I received it) GoogleTranslationRvdBTheTruth

When you merge these Robbert van den Broeke mails with the following Stan Pluijmen audio:

10:40: Stan “There is no hacker” (> in Robbert van den Broeke hate and death-threat case)
12:20: Stan: “I admit, I was Micha Romijn”.

in which Stan states that he has not been hacking casinos, like Van den Broeke claims, but that he did trick casinos, I think the following could be a realistic model of what really happened: working theory: Stan discovered some weak spots in online casino mechanism and cashed out a lot of money. With a number of fake IDs or other people’s IDs (people knowing about it and collaborating and who he generously compensated for it), he was able to repeat the casino trick. From the Robbert van den Broeke clan respectively from somebody mailing with a “Micha Romijn” mailbox I had been receiving two complete IDs, one of “Micha Romijn” one of a female family member of Alan Sieradzki, an old lady who has since passed away. This “Micha Romijn” stuff was much more sinister and like reported in my Parameter blogs.

WordPress later-on in 2017 removed the fake Micha Romijn ID pics I uploaded in my Parameter blogs. Somebody had complained and I doubt WordPress sees the difference between a real and a (well-recreated) fake ID. So if someone came with the same ID to complain, they had no reason to act differently than usual.

Stan Pluijmen confesses in this audio that (indeed) he was “Micha Romijn”. But I could tell by the emails I received there is another person involved, because I recognize Stan’s language and tone of voice, and there were quite some that were not from his pen.

After many years of experience with this whole group around Robbert van den Broeke, the facts (so no suspicions) are that the men are playing battleship with each other’s mailbox, wanted or unwanted. For example, I got a picture of Stan that, according to Stan, was very ugly and it seemed that someone in the room had seized his phone and sent it secretly. This is just one of many examples and I have also explained and substantiated this in my Parameter blog(s) In this regard, it is actually best to read all my Parameter blogs. Because of the enormous chaos that arose from this and which I think was also erected partly intentionally as a smoke screen on the side of Stan, the men ended up in a kind of large, inextricable tangle of cohesive material.

It seems that the gentlemen are holding each other in a delicate balance of compromising facts, and that they may well be quite afraid that the other person will leak information to me, or whoever wants to expose the truth. The many snitch mails to me could be explained by the tense atmosphere between the men, in the spirit: “If you do or don’t do that, I’m going to leak (mis)information about you, watch me, I am not bluffing.”

The “Micha Romijn” person was a piece of the puzzel that didn’t sit well at all with Stan. International police should investigate the motive of “Micha Romijn”. Because WordPress acted upon the complaint from I have to assume possibly the real Micha Romijn, that the (fake) ID pictures should be removed, it appears Micha Romijn must (have) know(n) that his ID was being abused (i.e., it was sent to me, and was it used for playing in online casinos?). In my opinion, all likely scenarios should be investigated. Two important ones: 1. it should be investigated whether Micha Romijn received money in exchange for the use of his ID or 2. that he is a victim of ID fraud. If latter would be the case, then why wasn’t any of this on the news or emailed to/communicated with me or other journalists in any way with convincing evidence? Because I had made some real public fuss about this MR ID, that it was sent to me, just like that, I had extensively tweeted about it with even the un-blurred images of the several ID photos. Moreover, the ID pictures were published on my WordPress site, for everybody to see.

Rachid is another person involved. I even received an email from Jan Willem Nienhuys, my good friend from because Rachid was trying to contact me in vain (?) and he tried his luck with Jan Willem Nienhuys. This Rachid seems to be somebody close to Robbert, Stan and Alan, who has been hitchhiking along on this whole case. Robbert van den Broeke claims in his email that Rachid received a lot of money.

I then received a lot of emails from Rachid too, but call it intuition or experience, I didn’t like communicating with him, it felt pointless and like speaking to a twisted mind. Nothing came out of my communication with him and I discontinued it.

There is also this thing with Dutch crime reporter John van den Heuvel in Stan’s audio. I conclude from the aforementioned audio that Robbert van den Broeke has been spilling some beans towards John van den Heuvel and said to Van den Heuvel that Stan is hacking casinos. As known, John van Heuvel was visiting Joran van de Sloot in his jail cel in Peru, so there we have it again: the circle Joran, Stan and Robbert.10

The two audio files of Leydi Figueroa Uceda sent to me by Stan Pluijmen fit seamlessly into the picture Stan has or had power over Joran and Leydi, because if someone, especially imprisoned or poor like Joran and Leydi, gets very large sums of money, such as these two from Stan,10 this person/they will be more readily inclined to do “weird things” for their benefactor.

And it all fits with Stan’s strange sense of humor and his obsession with me.

To return to Stan’s “confession clip”: Stan says in this audio he had been set up about this casino story, but that he wasn’t arrested, “Just ask John van den Heuvel, it’s true”, which would confirm that he is innocent of hacking casinos.

Stan had confided through emails earlier on that with Joran van der Sloot too, he had cut ties. Alan had his say in this audio also:

and both seemed scared of Robbert, they seemed to think or acted that Robbert had put some sinister curse on them.

I haven’t talked much about Alan, Stan’s husband. The truth is, I like him, just like Stan, but I don’t like their covering up of fraud and deception (Robbert van den Broeke, Joran van der Sloot, et cetera related). That makes all of this extra incomprehensible, I mean, they spent many years in the make-the-other-crazy-but-often-not-in-a-fun-way game. There were and are some sidelines with Alan, like the time I talked to him through his Twitter account. That didn’t end very well and he even deleted that account. Later, and in line with what Stan often did, he denied, but also confirmed that he had been that person on Twitter. I also received emails from him, but most were obviously from Stan using his email address. I could tell not only from the language used, but in these emails Stan simply wrote about the he-person: Alan. Some of the emails were from Alan and in these emails he always seemed very friendly and truly reaching out to me as an independent person (from Stan), although he seemed outraged a couple of times at some of my responses on Twitter. It can certainly be called a fact that he is an absolute insider in everything, since, as Stan’s husband, he lives with Stan day after day.

Stan kept saying, over and over again, that he loves me, even calling me an “universal source of love”.

The “old” Stan, December 25, 2018:

Sending emails from the mailbox of Robbert van den Broeke:

And, same day:

The “new” Stan:

My firm impression is that many more people are involved in the Robbert van den Broeke-Stan Pluijmen-Joran van der Sloot and so on (than the already in this and previous blogs mentioned names) case, possibly even well-known names from the Dutch and international conspiracy and para world, and that casino fraud and para-fraud are not the only illegal business. Also consider Stan’s rare stubbornness about Natalee Holloway’s alleged remains in Grave 15 at the St. Anna Churchyard in Aruba. Even Joran briefly mentions that St. Anna in the clip Stan via the mailbox of Robbert van den Broeke dropped in my mailbox: (I provided English captions):

In April 2020 I received an invitation from a Dutch radio maker to talk about all this and Stan also received an invitation. Stan doesn’t want to and again only communicated this to me:

Stan says some interesting things in these audios and especially in this audio “15”: that he hates the web of lies he got into, and that he is threatened from all sides, but that it’s okay by him when/if I publish all his audios because he loves honesty. He also says that he had already recorded an entire audio for me, was “too honest” – and wonders if there is such a thing as “too honest” – and that he consequently deleted this audio. He talks (again) about his (former) drink and coke problem, and says the audios between 2018 and now on average were recorded with this addiction slur. He also asks if I don’t want to make fun of him and that he loves me. He goes on to say that he doesn’t think he can buy everything off with money. He doesn’t feel like thrill journalism about Joran van der Sloot, and that he’s not exactly boosting himself for being Joran’s friend ,and that this journalist who invited both him and me to talk about Joran van der Sloot and co must think he’s retarded. And also in this audio you can notice that he wanted to say something, but then “caught” himself, something “too honest” again?, and then his sentence stops.

To me it all seems the tip of the iceberg, and my hunch based on the thousands of emails and media files I received in total, is that this whole case has been a smoldering volcano that will erupt once. My personal hope is that this eruption will be thorough and that the whole cesspool will really open. There will be many “losers”, but also some big winners, and I hope Natalee Holloway’s parents will be among those winners to get the information about their daughter Natalee Holloway, which they have been entitled to for all these years, but never got. It is now (on May 30, 2020) exactly 15 years ago that she disappeared.

Something else to conclude this with: to this day, Stan never got my “secret request” (and no, this request is not about money). I asked something from Stan on Twitter, but it is up to him to see what it is, and because they claim to be clairvoyant, I was amazed that this wasn’t, and still isn’t, the case. And Stan, yes, this secret request still stands.


The cannabis market has been released in California since late 2016 and I started experimenting with it mid-August 2019, though my initial try-out only lasted a month. My ex introduced me to it. My body however is not easily impressed. I quickly took more than only one or two of the 5mg THC edibles and up to something like 35 mg THC, leaving my ex far behind me, dose wise. Because of my body’s high degree of acceptance, real trips, as people imagine them, with bright colors and spacey effects, are more exception than rule with me. One trip felt like being in the water tunnel of Sea World, I hardly remembered my location my bedroom and I was boldly (though a little scared, yes) adapting to the new situation and hang-gliding in there, in that “green tunnel”. It lasted about an hour and a half.

The main effect of the edibles is that I sleep again. And that on average I feel a bit tidier and happier, more my old, more powerful self. I think everything in your mind is also reflected in the chemical balance in your body, and sometimes I think I’m increasingly missing “happy connections” in my brain, which seems to be offset by the “mind-altering” effects of cannabis.

In previous blogs I reported quite severe sleeping problems, a problem I always had, but they have mainly dissolved by now, which means that the sharpest edges are now gone. I sleep again even though I am still a light sleeper. It seems I have been catching up for a couple of years already. I initially quit the edibles after a month, because it seemed to me my body and mind weren’t fit to get high. Maybe I’m on a natural high already. My nightlife always has been very intense, just call to mind my lifelong and so very frequent experiences with intense dreams and out-of-body experiences. It is striking that as soon as I use edibles, I hardly or even don’t remember my dreams and out-of-body experiences and so on at all, even though I know I had them, by brief surfacing images. And as soon as I stop using the edibles, the clear memory of dreams and astral experiences returns immediately, mostly the next day already.

But on March 1, 2020 I took it up again. Something in me was stirred to give it another try. I longed for the diversion. I was already looking for distraction eleven days before the Corona Virus disease was declared a pandemic on March 11, 2020.

Immediately I entered an area that I now know a little too well about myself, namely not knowing my limits and being beyond measure, because I overdid it immediately, leaping from 35 mg THC last year to 50 mg THC this year. I got lucky the first time I took 50 mg THC and I had quite an adventure with Rob and the Lions as the lion was turning into a lion with extremely realistic male genital sensations.

Overconfident I repeated the amount four days later, and, had I had to wait for hours for some effect this first time in March, this time the cannabis supreme being struck very quickly (a signal that I have come to know as being the signal that you can also quickly end up in a danger zone, or: you are already in it). Something almost immediately went horribly and shockingly wrong.

A Brain Rollercoaster From Hell started to spin faster and faster with increasing noise, distorted images and the feeling of falling apart into dislocated body parts took possession of me. I tried in vain to stay on the wheel, but quickly realized that I was losing all control, no turning back and I just had to sit this very long Rollercoaster ride out. It is like getting under water in a maelstrom and being dragged along. I have experienced a near-drowning in Scheveningen sea at one time, so I know the feeling.

It got so bad that I had to stop myself from calling for help and an ambulance several times. I have heard about this through my ex, there are a lot of people who really go, respectively are taken, to the hospital. I could never have gone myself, I couldn’t even leave my room or go to the bathroom, and I didn’t want to, because my roommates were both at home. I wanted to save myself the embarrassment. I managed to go through this hell by my own, but really barely, just hanging on to a last strand of incredible stiff-headed willpower that I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. I’ve never been so sick of anything in my entire life.
My brain had ended up in a not-merry-go-round with a thousandfold squabble, I heard deafening percussion instruments like someone is hitting them only inches away from your face, even had an extreme smell sensation, but strange as it sounds with no specific smell, coming from nowhere, popping up like a cloud just right in front of my nostrils, a black-magic trick of the brain par excellence, and all this made any redeeming sleep impossible. I saw strange moving shadows, and my sickly reciprocating body could not calm down, my limbs no longer seemed to be attached to my body, and my brain was already a loosely floating unit. Everything was way too intense and I was so sick of it all, I couldn’t walk a meter and then the vomiting started for hours.

Still, the biggest Kudo goes to Love. Even in my darkest hour I was aware of my love for Rob and my cherished inner crew lions, sitting all around me on the bed, as they always do. I managed to keep them out of the turmoil, they stayed safe and clean the whole ordeal. I never touched them, nor did my upset stomach reach them.

I spun in my head and body, it felt like a near death. There was nothing I could do than to sit this out, my position ranged from sitting on the floor against my bed to half hanging over my bed, not able to lie or sit straight. Only after many hours did it start to disappear. Had I been punished for my nonchalance in taking 5 strips of each 10 mg THC! I had done it before, but this clearly was a jump straight into the ravine. It could very well be that one of the strips was spoiled again with a higher dose, but much more probably the THC messed up with the paracetamol and Zyrtec I had been taking as well just before I took the edibles (so I took the Paracetamol, Zyrtec and edibles at the same time). It must have been a chemical poisoning. When I consumed edibles with a total of 50 mg THC late April, 2020 again, nothing happened, not even a trip. I was just quickly lulled into a thick-clouded sleep.

The cannabis is having an effect on my appetite, it’s (very) reduced, I have already lost quite some pounds, but I am still overweight. When I restarted with the edibles in March 2020, you can say I was heavily overweight, probably my heaviest bodyweight ever, despite the many bike rides and the gym, no, I won’t tell what it was. Also not new to me, namely that everything always seems to work differently than average for me: cannabis causes a sharp decrease in my appetite and certainly not the “Munchies” (binge eating) as many articles about cannabis say, so quite the opposite. As I now tend to get nauseous quickly, a side effect of cannabis that is known and that indeed applies to me, my food consumption is very discouraged in this way too. And I rarely drink pure whisky anymore, because the combination with THC in my blood seems to be a bad one. Moreover, because I often sleep through the night now, I no longer snack at night which I did regularly.

With the edibles I sometimes end up in the morning when I wake up, or try to wake up, in a kind of semi-coma. In a previous blog I already described that I tend to lose contact with my body at night much more than usual, just call to mind my out-of-body experiences, but also think of my paralyzed limbs because they are in the wrong position, because I am far away. With the edibles I sometimes have the greatest difficulty in reconnecting with my limbs and regaining control, which is reflected in the fact that I cannot erect myself in my body for a while, let alone my finger or moving my hand, while I am just conscious and awake.

The Brakes

Something is hitting the brakes, which is reflected in my dream and astral life.

Two equally strong currents are pulling on me: the knowledge that there simply must be life after death, but also the skeptic objection of still seeing too little evidence. Rob was right that the dreams and out-of-body experiences don’t provide enough evidence in themselves. For instance, astral travelers are not able to see hidden number sequences or words while out there, and tell researchers the correct numbers or words.11

But the Rob lions Love connection does offer evidence to me. Rob’s love is extremely palpable and robust, like a physical body, which is proof to me that something incredibly strong is going on. I told about this earlier on: how completely devastated and empty I felt after losing my cuddly rooster and for years, I couldn’t find any cuddly toy that offered me anything. The magic had gone, taking with him the Love. Only after Rob’s passing in 2014, Love returned to me, and now lions are filling my heart, but only because Rob fills each and everyone of them with his love, but especially the multiple Rob lions (still nine in number). I couldn’t do it, I had tried and failed miserably, and consequently, somebody had to step in. And there was only one person really who could step in. That man was and is Rob.

Time passes by and the things that surface – many kudos go to the wonderful Beeld en Geluid Media Archive (TV appearances, radio interviews) – confirm that there indeed is a “mysterious” connection between Rob and me. This story also seems to tell itself, about every year a puzzle piece is added to the overall picture. I got to know Rob before ánd after his transition, but I only got to know his real, warm energy, how he feels up close, after his transition. I would now recognize him out of millions, he has such an incredibly strong, pleasant and warm, full energy, I see his beautiful Rob face and goatee, his full lips and enchanting, mindful, investigating, demanding and devoted looks.

We áre living together, by means of odds in science that are not fully investigated yet. I have already walked a little way down that street in my Quantum Entanglement blog. The Rob-Constantia daily orgasmic outbursts, extreme and heavenly beyond words, are still in full swing. This is Reality. This too is beyond doubt: we really are a match made in Heaven-Extreme, we are alike, in how we live and think. This is not accidental nor short-lived (I think I/we have already proven that after 6 years after Rob’s passing), and spelled out in the stars. Forever. This connection is able to stand the test of time and any distance.

I quote the following nightly experience, because it got me thinking about the true nature of our contact.
Ever since I let go of my biased ideas about the nature of “astral experiences”, I’ve been open to new ideas about what life after death might look like. I think Rob and I are mirroring each other, a venue I started to explore in my quantum entanglement “explanation”.

On April 12, 2020 I had a curious encounter with Rob (as always: hurray if I see him by any means) and many of my Rob featuring dreams, astral journeys, or whatever you want to call them, are characterized by playfulness, magic and hilarious twists.
In short, the following occurred:
I lived in a rather dark, but nice house with roommates, but it was not in Davis. Rob was there too! I was so happy to see him! He was in his middle-age, firmer statue appearance. I showed the house and I pointed to the chimney and said to Rob, “I would love to live in the chimney, I wish I was much smaller, then you and I could live in it!” This chimney was a corner in the house and resembled a column of light, it looked cozy and warm. Rob walked down to the chimney with me, briefly looked up in it, with an inquiring glance, and then said with a faint smile on his lips, a bit like he was high, but not exuberantly, and rather dazed, “Well, let’s do it then!” I was thrilled about his response and happily replied: “For real?!” I took his hand in mine and we walked together, his hand felt just like he looked: a little limp and clammy, numb.
We walked to the first floor where it was much brighter and where dinner was held, there were quite a lot of people already. But the surface was skewed, so the tables were also skewed. Because there was no walking space next to the tables, Rob and I walked over the tables to our seats in the back. However, I accidentally on purpose started to slide, while walking on these tables, then lost my balance completely and sailed back to the lower point, taking things on tables with me. “Sorry! Sorry!” I shouted out laughing heartily. I think I did this to get Rob’s attention and to make him smile. The atmosphere was exuberant.

At first, I didn’t understand Rob’s “numb” state. Now I start to think that Rob and I really mirror each other, maybe not all the time, but often. We do more than react to each other, we vibrate in the same state. We still do, even if there’s a whole universe of distance between us and no one informs us about what the other is feeling or doing. Rob was kind of numb and high in this event, but so was I (After all, I had eaten edibles during this time and the cannabis can also remain in your blood for many weeks). Now I don’t know about edibles, so far out in the universe, where Rob is, but they must have something there too. 😉 In this way, the ultimate clairvoyance exists by virtue of simultaneous vibration, even if there is an immense “between” space. You could also conclude that Rob lives since I live too. And where will we both be when I too leave my physical body? We’ll take it from there. There.


“It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream.”
― Edgar Allan Poe

Since the divorce I have been sticking out my feelers about financial matters, and through a financial divorce arrangement through my ex I was entitled to a little money, but it wasn’t that much. I’m looking at things like stocks and bitcoin, but it looks like I’m going to need a big miracle to get out of my financial insecurity. It seems the only thing I truly feel deeply is that I don’t want restrictions on my freedom. My best talent seems to be my freewheeler talent and in this society, that’s almost unheard of. I tried several work/career things, but none of those really stuck to me. Maybe I was meant to be a freewheeler? Some people jump straight up the career ladder after high school and get applauded, and they therefore feel encouraged to step it up and with success, but I’ve been searching all my life and still haven’t found my destination. I have had my share of wrong turns much more than average, or so it does seem to me. It certainly seems I have been handed over to the gods in this way (whoever or wherever they are). Will my eternal happiness star, allowing me to live this uncertain lifestyle, abandon me? We shall see.

Time is passing at an alarming rate, especially when you look at families and how fast their children are growing up. These fast evolving children are the mirrors of your own age rapidly speeding up the higher numbers. The hour of truth is drawing near. After all, I don’t want to be old. This keeps me pondering almost every day, how to free oneself relatively painlessly from this physical body? There seems to be no easy answer. There still is some time left, but the clock is ticking a bit louder each day.

Rob Nanninga Quotes



[1] See the photos page on my personal website too and this YouTube clip. My ex was the one filming. He gave me a free SkyDiving ticket as he is an enthusiastic skydiver.

[2] See Lion Hearts, Part VI: “Under the umbrella of “Let’s get physical” I can add the following: for me there is one striking case in Davis, something that has been going on for years now. I believe that if there is such a thing as a past life – or should I better talk about timeless life from now on? – I “found” the man who killed me as a girl of about sixteen years old in a (past) life […] I wanted to report it anyway.”

[3] See the smoky photo gallery in Lion Hearts Part V.

[4] See previous blogs and you can start here.

[5] BN De Stem: Hoevens medium Van den Broeke niet langer verdacht van bedreigingen: ‘Ik heb de schijn tegen’
Internetbode: Rechtzaak tegen Robbert van den Broeke geseponeerd

[6] His turn to conspiracy theories with regard to the Corona Virus didn’t go unnoticed and was picked up by several media groups. NRC GeenStijl Mentionable is the fact that only a fraction of the YouTube commenters on this GeenStijl clip knows Robbert, some even think it is staged or that Robbert is an actor. It could also be they don’t recognize him, as he has changed very much in appearance. Van den Broeke received more publicity in May, 2020 when he was interviewed by Ybeltje Berckmoes of aspiring Dutch broadcaster “Ongehoord Nederland“, “channeling” Right-Wing leader Pim Fortuyn who was murdered by Volkert van der Graaf on May 6, 2002. Both aspiring broadcaster “Ongehoord Nederland” and Robbert were buried under severe criticism and scorn directly after this was aired.

[7] Robbert van den Broeke Bedankt zijn volgers ! and Medium Robbert van den Broeke talk about Constantia Oomen.

[8] See my Parameter blogs Fallen Angels and Behind The Scenes Of Robbert van den Broeke, Part IV (August 2018).

[9] See my Parameter WordPress and this external linkScreenshots in case the link won’t work at any time:

[10] Here are some links to that:
Van der Sloot openhartig over Natalee in nieuwe video
John van den Heuvel: Joran wist niet dat hij gefilmd werd
Joran van der Sloot verdacht in witwaszaak

[11] For further literature, you can start with Sam Parnia and his AWARE studies.

The End (for now!)

🌟 With many thanks to Rob Nanninga, Sjaan, Manfred and Luciënne (the latter for what she did in the Robbert van den Broeke & co case in 2016) 🤗

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